“Once you are patient and present, joy often sneaks in behind it.”
Ryan M. Stanley
Ryan Stanley is a Life Long Entrepreneur with a Strong Background in Professional Life, Business and Internal Coaching. He joins the show to talk about the concepts in his new book Be Patient, Be Present, Be Joyful: A First-Aid Kit for the Emotional Bumps, Scrapes, and Bruises of Life.
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Throughout our conversation we dive into:
- Why patience is important to developing a sense of wellbeing.
- How to get positive affirmations to actually work using emotions.
- Praising the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza.
- Misunderstandings about the law of attraction.
- How to be present.
- Creating your own identity for better or worse.
- Creating your dream life by feeling it now.
- Gaining deeper insight into the same wisdom by revisiting it later.
- What it actually means to “be the light”.
- Mind the GACC (Great And Constant Conversation) with the universe.
“Decide who you want to be, do something about it every single day, and be the light you want to see in the world along the way.”
You can get a free PDF version of the book at: https://www.ryanstanley.com/be-patient-be-present-be-joyful
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Full Transcription:
Craig Inzana: Welcome to the Happy You Are Here Podcast. In this show, we talk about tools, techniques, and ideas to help us live more fulfilling lives. In this episode, we have Ryan Stanley who is a lifelong entrepreneur. Now he is an author and he has a life and self leadership coach. Welcome to the show, Ryan. Why don’t you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about the new book that you have coming out?
Ryan Stanley: Sure. Happily Craig, first of all, want to just create some gratitude to you and, uh, I’m happy that you’re happy. I’m here. I’m happy. I’m here as well. Thanks for having me. Yeah, me too. So yeah, Ryan Stanley, I am a lifelong entrepreneur. I just recently published my first book. It’s called be patient, be present to be joyful, a first aid kit for the emotional bumps, scrapes and bruises of life.
It is exactly as the subtitle indicates it is a quick first aid kit. If you’re having a tough day, you know, I am not one who loves to read. I think there’s some amazing books out there that will change your life. And so I’m not taking away from the value of important long books. As much as I’m just sharing that my brain does not always make it to the end of them.
So as a coach for the past, you know, life, life coach for the past decade, plus I’ve seen some common themes in my clients, my clients in my own self growth, uh, and my friends and my family. Right. And there are some pretty basic, and I don’t say that in a belittling sense, but some basic stuff. If you think about a concept of patients, presence and joy, and then some of these little things that we can all control, but we don’t make the time to.
That are holding us back from being the best versions of ourselves. Right. And, um, so, so I was like, okay. So I would love it. If I’m having a tough day, I don’t want to sit down and read 300 pages of something. That is, you know, that that could serve me, but it’s really going to take much longer than I’d like it to.
Right. So I wanted something that listed if I’m having a tough day or there’s other people out there like me who are having a tough day, you could just pick it up. It’s really, it was created in two ways. One that you can read straight through it, and you could probably read it about 35 minutes. It’s intentionally made to be short and you can take away some, some step-by-step active things that you can actually utilize every day.
But then B it’s also physically made as a first aid kit to the sense where, if you’re, let’s just say you already read it. And you want to pick it up. If you’re having a tough moment, at some point you can pick it up. Every single page is literally designed to have something on it that could stand out to you.
As the message you’re supposed to hear today as some first aid in a moment of stress as some, um, you know, some of that there’s, there’s illustrations, there’s quotes, there’s highlighted passages for myself. There’s, you know, so it’s literally, and it’s small for those who are seeing this on video. I mean, something you literally can hold in your hand, ladies, you can carry your purse.
You know, you open it to any given page at the end of each chapter, there’s bandaids, which are little type of things that can help you. So it’s my, you know, as a lifelong entrepreneurial, it was something that I created to serve others, but. Uh, in an easy way, I suppose. Sure.
Craig Inzana: Yeah. Well, I think that’s awesome.
That’s, you know, um, you know, this obviously plenty of books that you could read that are 300 pages, as long as I have a lot of great value in them. So it’s cool to be able to fill, you know, potentially a need that, you know, people that have short attention spans. I’m also, I love reading and I read a lot, um, to get me to sit down and finish reading one book, uh, without starting 12 other ones is an impossible task.
I actually have authors pretty often that I’ve connected with, um, Judy the show or just through life that will send me their books to read. And I fully want to read their books and I love their books reading it. And I’m like, this is amazing. This is incredible. You know, this has such an interesting perspective on the universe, whatever.
But about halfway through, I find myself picking up another book and started reading that and being like, I gotta remember to read that person’s book and get it finished so that I can have them, you know, on the podcast or whatever, like, yeah. So maybe I’ll be able to read yours quickly. And then I think, so this one, I was sold that the challenge for you, Greg, there’s something that’s going to add.
Ryan Stanley: Oh yeah. So my thing is like, sometimes I’ll read and I, don’t not like read. In fact I love audible as well, like listening to good books, but sometimes I’ll get my challenge with reading is that I’ll be reading and then like my brain. Go somewhere else. Like, it’s such a great concept that I start thinking about other things.
Sure. And then I have to read the same page again, and then I start thinking about something else and I have to read the same page again. And then, you know, five times I’m reading the same page and I go, okay, maybe we’ll just, maybe we’ll come back. Yeah. I have is me all the time. Like I, I journal my practice at night is to journal and read.
And sometimes those things can be at odds because I’m reading and I, and I’m just like, I want to journal about this idea and maybe I read a sentence. I made a sentence of progress in the book. And it spun me off into this entire like journaling prompt, which is not a bad thing. Like that’s not to say that’s, you know, that’s amazing if a book can do that and, and you know, maybe one sentence is that profound.
Um, and I’m very grateful to have found books that and continue to read books that are like that, but it’s, and that, and that’s also just adds to the point of journaling, right? It’s like, okay, taking what’s in the brain and putting it somewhere else. So that is actually becoming a creation and a thought that is not just lost to the noggin.
There are people who have done more with less.
Craig Inzana: Yeah, absolutely. Right. Yeah. Just the constant, you know, flow of thoughts that are coming and going. And, uh, I find it helps me slow down. You know, I have a lot of the, you know, very, um, restless spots. I practice a lot of mindfulness meditation and, and it’s, you know, becomes very obvious, like how many thoughts are just like flowing all the time and spiraling out in different directions.
And it’s like, they’re not. Doing anything, because they’re just leading you another thought leading into another thought, leading into another thought where when your journal, it forces you to slow down a little bit and actually give some credence to like each thing that you’re writing out. And it’s cool because it gives you an opportunity to question it as if someone else is saying, if I, if I have a thought and it’s like, you know, maybe self-talk or something.
Sure. And I go to write it out and I’m like, I then have a moment of that is true or that is not true. And then I can, you know, where, if it’s just running in your brain, you might have that, you know, let’s say it’s negative self talk or something just spiraling out of control just by sprint. Absolutely.
Ryan Stanley: Yeah. So that’s a journaling is like one of the first things that I always recommend. People try to pick up if they’re interested in self-improvement or interested in living a more fulfilling life. Totally. And you know, with that, you okay. Yeah, there’s a concept. I, some of the, so the prologue of my book is it talks about being a creator and actor creators, and we’re always creating something, right.
So right now you and I are creating two men recording an awesome podcast, right? When you wake up in the morning, if you decide to put on blue socks, blue pants, blue shirt, and blue hat, and you’re literally creating a man dressed in blue. If you put on peanut butter and jelly on some bread and you put together, you’re creating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, right?
We create words. We create laughter. We create music. We create art. We create businesses. We create conversation. If you put a bunch of words on it, on you in your journal and you put a period at the end, you just created a sentence, literally, always. And in always creating something. Um, the challenges that we often create to your point is stress.
We create stress, we treat anger, we create frustration. And that, that doesn’t mean that it’s not valid. It’s not valid in other that, that you’re feeling that way your, your, your body is creating these things, but the awareness that you are creating them is the first step. So I brought this up as kind of what part of our conversation is.
There’s also, I think when we, when we think of something, um, if we try to just leave it there and not write it down by actually writing it down, especially if it’s something that you want to do or want to bring into life, want to manifest. By taking it from the brain, like into the hand and then writing it down on paper, you’re actually physically creating proof of its potential existence.
It’s not that it wasn’t there from a quantum level from your thought already, but by writing it down, you are adding some emotion. You are adding some physical intention. You are, there’s actually some sort of a science behind it that I don’t really, I think I might have read somewhere. I could speak to the details, but when you physical, in fact, the difference between typing something and writing something, there is a difference.
Craig Inzana: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, experientially, I think a lot of us maybe have experienced that. I certainly have even with like taking notes, like I, if I were to take notes in a notebook and when I’m in a class or when I was in classes, I haven’t taken a class for a long time, but, uh, you know, I would remember that.
Always. And it’s funny because I’m writing it down. I’m never going to read that, but the act of writing it down, lodges it so deeply in my brain because it’s like a physical activity. But if I, when I tried to type my notes, I didn’t have that same experience at all. I couldn’t remember. There’s something.
Yeah. Innate about writing. Versus typing and maybe we just haven’t evolved to like forever. Cause you and I weren’t born and typing, you know, maybe someone that you know has been raised and they’ve been typing their entire life. They have a different experience with that. I can remember learning to type no, not, uh, um, you know, A primal experience for us such an early, or is it even a natural even like when you think about symbols, you think about like going back to the primal concept, like, like drawing on walls or writing in the dirt we evolved alongside of that.
Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely never thought of it that way. Right. New ideas coming out, we’re creating a scale. It’s a high five. Yeah, there we go. Um, okay. So the book. Be patient be present, be joyful. Yes. I see it up here and it says be patient, be present, be joy. And as cut off, I like that. I like to say you can be joy to that.
That’s not a bad thing. I like to, I like to try to embody that. Um, but how do you get to those being the three kind of like pillars that you’re, you’re pulling out in the book and how does that apply? And like, um, manifest itself in the book. So, you know, so if the prologue is that what we are creators, right?
And we go to the concept of people creating stress and anxiety, right? So it is a first aid kit for emotional bumps and scrapes and bruises. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re feeling stressed. We’ll, we’ll start with patients. So chapter one is be patient. So once we understand the concept that we’re always creating, and we often create stress, anxiety, frustration, those type of things, chapter one talks a lot about.
Typically, and not always by any means back. That’s probably more with chapter two, we’ll get into the other, the other half, but you know, certainly half of much stress is caused by the concept of there not being enough time. People feeling like they’re not far enough along in their career, they’re late for a meeting.
They’re there, whatever they haven’t had the right relationship yet. They’re just not, they’re sick. They’re not feeling better now. Like there’s, there’s so much stress that can be created from impatience. Yeah, people are starting their own business. You know, before this, this recording started, we actually talked about, you know, building your business and, and the people that are entrepreneurs, building new businesses, and six years often to really get to the point where you’re, you know, if you’re doing it smarter, you can make it through those first lean years of building the business.
But it also does take patience and intention, right. But if you just spent the whole time feeling frustrated about this, not happening fast enough, and I’m like, these people aren’t getting back to me or whatever, whatever your, your challenges may be, right. You are creating impatience and you through that, you’re often creating stress.
And so in any of these given moments, you can say to yourself, if I wanted to, how could I create patients right now? Right. So if you, if you’re able to disregard the challenges that you’re spending all your time thinking about, and instead just recognize the challenge that you’re being a patient and ask yourself, you know, a great question of like, how could I create patients right now?
How would a patient person behave in this moment? Oh yeah. Yeah. What does patients feel like? And if you’re asking these questions from an objective standpoint and you’re literally, how could I create patients right now? What would I feel like if I created patients right now, you actually, your brain starts to wants to answer these questions.
Right? Cause our brains, that’s what they do. They answer questions. As long as we’re asking the right ones, what we’ll be moving forward at a more efficient manner. Right. So if you’re asking yourself things like, what does patients feel like? How would I be behaving right now? If I was patient. And you start to, to create this.
And it might not be all day every day, right? Rainbows and unicorns, but it might be that you, you start with a minute at a time and then five minutes at a time, then you start to recognize more often when you’re creating inpatients and decide because now, you know, From previous experience where it’s like the create patients.
What is that I think about, you know, I hear a lot about like positive affirmation. How do people on the show talk about positive affirmation before? And I think a problem that a lot of people have with that and implementing that in their real life, or even starting it, or seeing it make an impact is that, you know, it feels like you’re lying, right?
Like you, you know, if it’s something that’s so counter to your identity, Like, if I’m stressed, I’m a busy person. And I try to tell myself I am patient. I am calm. Like those, my brain is going to fire up and say, it that’s a lie. That’s a lie. That’s a lie. Huh. And like, some people say, just push through it, just keep doing it.
I like what you’re saying here about like, Okay. Maybe I’m not that right now, but what if I were, what would that look like? Because that starts to create that space in your brain to build that identity a hundred percent. And the other piece to that is you could say it all day long, but if you’re not feeling it in that moment, when you’re saying your affirmations, it’s really only doing, and again, this is my own version layman’s version, but probably a third of the work.
You know what I mean? I know that scientifically, but I’m sure there’s people that will tell you that war, you know, like that have measured. Brainwaves or whatever that, that comes out. In fact, I don’t know if you’re, I’m assuming you’re probably familiar with dr. Joe Dispenza. I was literally just going to bring that up.
I was going to say about how you have to feel the emotion of it is how you actually, uh, which for someone that is not familiar with, uh, dr. Joe Dispenza, do you want to introduce what that idea is? Just general? He’s obviously got, he’s an actual doctor that does a lot of really, um, objective studies on basically manifesting how our bodies react and how, uh, emotion creates our realities.
But. I mean, listen, I’ve been in personal development and personal growth for, in some capacity, you know, 30 years really hardcore for like the past 10, getting better. The last four have been even, you know, I’m, I’m obviously constantly my journey and growing, but I’ve been like really dialing into dr. Joe for the past six or seven months.
And it’s, it’s leveled up my entire life in so many different ways. I couldn’t even tell you. Um, so this guy is like, really my he’s my he’s my hero right now. Somebody asked me if I had a mentor. And I said, if I did, you know, we don’t really know each other in real life, but you know, he, he would be the guy, like he’s the guy that I paid the most attention to because he was, what I liked most about him is he takes, you know, things.
It’s like the law of attraction. He takes things like, um, the, what he says, I want to demystify the mystic. Right? I want to take all these things that we don’t really understand and really look at the science behind it. Look at what does your brain, what does your body physically do when you create gratitude?
When you create joy, when you create compassion, like what, what’s the difference? What physically goes on your body and your brain, what parts of your brain get activated? How does your heart actually change? Because again, he also talks about the different groups, ones that aren’t just in your brain, but are in your heart and in your different energy centers throughout your body.
So, yeah. And it’s not like there’s woo angels. And let me just tell you what I heard about one day from a mystic 3000 years ago. It’s like, okay, we took some information based on cultures of thousands of years, but we also took science and look at what is actually happening. So all that is to say that if here’s a couple of books, one of them out there is called breaking the habit of being yourself, which is super huge.
A second one is called becoming supernatural. And so I’d recommend them for anybody out there. Who’s looking to, I have on my desk. You are the placebo. You are the placebo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Equally. I don’t know if that, yeah, by this guy, it’s a little bit heady. Like if you’re not in, like, there’s a lot of science behind it, so you kind of have to, again, I do it all on audible, so I’ve had to listen to many of them and the videos and stuff too, that make it great in interviews, like on a lot of different podcasts where that that’s probably the best like introduction level is like, you know, I interview with him on a podcast palatable and understandable.
Yeah, right. Yeah. Is he says, you know, from, so from a quantum level, right. Our thoughts are literally things. Our thoughts do create waves of energy that come out of our mind that let everybody kind of pick those up in some capacity. And so to go back to like, okay, I’m saying I’m calm, I’m calm, I’m calm.
But the thought is just a thing. But to your point, if you’re then saying, no, I’m not, no, I’m not, no, I’m not. Or your energy, even if you’re saying I’m calm is. Oh, you’re still holding that. Yeah, exactly. Totally. It’s it’s going to do the opposite. And even if it’s not something as, as clearly as you put it as calm versus not calm, as opposed to successful or joyful, right.
It doesn’t mean you have to be miserable or unhappy or feel like you suck at your job, but still, if you’re not really feeling gratitude and genuine joy for the outcome that you are thinking about and saying, I am, it’s going to take a lot longer. And the gratitude actually. Th the, these elevated emotions kind of almost like fuel for the thoughts to push them out there and into, onto the quantum field at a little bit deeper and bring it.
Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So from the patient portion to the be present, how does that tie into each other? Yeah, so listen, so now you’re, you’re no longer worried about the future, not coming fast enough, right? You, you decided to, and real quick, let me also just go back to patients for those of you listening.
Patients doesn’t mean sit around and do nothing by any means. Patient is not sit on my hands and just wait for it to happen. Oh, well, and that’s, I think that’s the challenge that people have that they’re like, Oh my gosh, I have to be patient. What am I going to patient for? I don’t wanna just sit around and do nothing.
Uh, you know, I’ve got stuff to do. And so it’s like a fight against patients, right? And it’s like, well, you know, if you could enjoy the moment, right. And this will, this will lead us to presence. If you can know that it’s going to happen exactly. As it’s supposed to. Right. I still do my job. I still have to show up right work.
I still have to make the phone calls and do the emails and do the work that’s necessary. But if I, if I decide for a fact that if the outcome that what I’m choosing to manifest is going to happen at the time it’s supposed to, based on all the other factors that I really don’t even understand the billions of factors that are going on in the world with every single human that I have to interact with and all the economies and all these different things, whatever, if you decide that, Hey, this is going to happen one way or the other.
And I am grateful for that outcome. And my job is just to be here and do the work. Then that is patients, right? It’s not being frustrated or stressed because it’s not happening soon. It’s being grateful that it’s happening. Right. Stepping into, I think it’s an important aspect to point out. And just to reiterate for a second is that there is an aspect of doing the work, you know, like you can’t just sit around and.
Be like, well, give it to me. You have attraction manifest this thing. I think that’s a misunderstanding about what the law of attraction is. You know, whatever the, the, you know, framework you want to put around. What that is is that, you know, I used to, I wrote earlier last year I was in a bunch of debt. I was like sleeping on a sleeping bag in an empty apartment.
I was like grateful to have the apartment, but I was like, I don’t have a bed. I don’t have any furniture. I have no way of affording these things. Cause I’ve funneled all this money into this business. That’s not working out and. Just being like I wrote on a piece of cardboard, it’ll get better, just do the work and like emotionally connected to that.
Every single day I just got up and I was like, what is it that I can do today, today? Right now? I can’t, you know, build a successful business overnight. I can’t fix everything overnight, but I know that if I just put in the work, I’ve seen enough other people do it, that if I just put in the work every single day or five, six days a week, like, yeah, I will get there eventually.
And I just gotta, like, I’m not dying right now, so I’m fine. You know, I might not be perfect, but I’m fine. Way worse than way, way better than so many others. Right. So ended up becoming extremely successful. Right. There, there are people, I always tell people, there are people who have done more with less.
Right. That was a good way to know always. Yeah. So totally. And when you start and that’s the other thing, so that will tie right into presence, right? To your point. So today, what can I do today? Like who am I right now? In the grand scheme of things. Um, listen, man, I mean, when you wake up in the morning, there’s gravity, there’s oxygen, there’s sunlight all here.
You can exist today. What, you know, what are you going to do with it? Like that, that is the essential gift of life. Like literally it’s heavy, but in a great way, but like this right here, this moment where you and I are connecting is a gift. It is like, Consciousness experiencing itself and trying to, we have the opportunity to take that consciousness and do something powerful with it.
Not only for ourselves and for those that we love, but for those who are surrounded us or are able to witness it some capacity. Right. So I always say, listen to side where you want to be. Do something about it every single day and be the light you want to see in the world along the way. And you can’t go wrong because in the grand scheme of things, if you’re, if you’re here now, so it will take it back to presence.
I know I keep saying that, but right now there is only, now that’s all there ever is. Yeah. There’s and I’m sure you guys probably talked about this a lot in your, in your, your podcasts, but right. The past is just other now’s that we remember. And typically we’re not remembering them accurately. A B and then there’s now, and then future now’s are the future is just now that we anticipate more often than not based on our past.
Right? So if we can just the now and focus on the now and be here now, and people say, what are some tips for that? It’s like, you know, recognize what all five of your senses are doing. What am I feeling? Can I feel arrogance my face? What am I hearing? What do I smell? What can I see? Can I recognize beauty in anything?
Can I choose to recognize beauty and everything? And if I decided to, and again, that’s something that takes practice as well. Absolutely. It’s like something you hear people say all the time, it’s like, I’d like this it’s like meditation practice and mindfulness practice. Mindfulness meditation specifically is.
Centered around that is getting in touch with your senses and what you’re currently experiencing. And I think a lot of people have the misconception that like, it means that you have to erase all of your thought and, and not think at all. And I’m doing it wrong. If I have thoughts, I’m judging myself immediately.
Exactly. Which is so like auntie, and that’s why it’s going to be important to have a teacher cause someone can, you know, sit down and whether it’s like a guided meditation on, you know, the waking up app with Sam Harris or it’s like actually having a teacher, uh, that could be very helpful. Cause it’s very frustrating early on when you step it’s a, it’s a very.
Rude awakening to realize how much of your life is ruled by just like completely uncontrolled thought. Yeah. And it’s can be kind of like, Oh man, I want to run a race over and away from this. But so then turns into completely uncontrolled habits and behaviors that you don’t even know that you’re doing, which are then.
Whatever the word is like, um, acknowledged and making those thoughts happen again. Yeah. Right. I think that that’s, that’s exciting if you can tap into like an excitement about it, that, like, I have all this energy flowing around in my head and now I’m tapped in. I I’m aware of it now and I haven’t been aware of it before.
And yeah, it might seem like a lot, but like, that’s great. There’s a lot of energy going on there. Now I can get to work with it and I can, and to redirect that to a sense of awareness of how I feel in the present. And that is how you get into the present is those five seconds to be in a life. I want to create so much.
And when we stop looking at the past, and that’s not this anybody that’s had a wonderful life, shouldn’t be celebrate their, their past life or successes, or we shouldn’t celebrate them and continue to grow from them. But, and this is me painting brush. There’s so many people who don’t do that. So many people just live in their past and spend so much time looking added good or bad, but they’re not creating anything new.
They’re not looking at the future. Anything they are in the future is typically based on the past. Right. Trying to recreate an experience that has happened. That’s a big thing. It can lead to a lot of suffering or, uh, you know, try to run away from experience that has happened. Like just cleaning it so hard to, I don’t want that thing to happen again.
And I will, everything in my presence is, and every one of my other side is creating a future. And then you’re creating the environment for that to happen over and over and over and over again. And then it starts to, to reiterate, you know, it’s like a confirmation of like, You know, maybe people don’t like me or, or women.
Don’t like, I see this a lot. You know, I actually have a relationship coach thriller next week that I’m talking to. And, uh, you know, I have a lot of people that I talked to that are like, you know, women, I will never have a relationship with a woman because women just don’t like me. Well, if you continue to repeat that constantly to yourself, it’s going to continue to stay true because you’re going to find things to support that.
And you’re going to keep creating that experience everywhere. And then you’ll say it again, and then it’ll be like, see, I told you, I told you that people don’t like me. I told you that I, you know, I screw everything up by totally you that whatever. And it’s like, and then that just, and then unfortunately, you know, when someone is in their thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, it becomes much harder to dislodge those thoughts because even having it for so long, well, you’re literally creating like paths for your neurons, right?
Your brain is like, Someone explained to me once, like a, um, like when you go down a Hill on a sled and you kind of carve out like the, the path, and then when you look right down, it’s easy to go back to the same sled again, the same path over and over. Yeah. And that’s what happens with these thoughts again, dr.
Joey says neurons that fire together wire together. So, yeah. And our responsibility to start focusing all that energy that you mentioned that is in her head. I mean, once you know that. It’s not you. Like, I am not the energy in my head that I’m not even the thoughts in my head. I am the one controlling those thoughts if I want to be.
And I’m the observer and I could be the quantum observer. And I can say, um, I want to focus thoughts as often as possible on what my dream life feels like. It looks like. And if I, if I think about that and create gratitude for it, I am. It’s funny because at that point I’m then so happy just to be alive right now.
It doesn’t matter. And then those opportunities fall into place to your point. Then those things start to unfold and, and you see that as an opportunity because, Hey, I’ve been thinking about getting this a lot lately, intentionally. Now somebody shows up in my life. That’s not a coincidence, a but B even if let’s say it was actually technically the term coincidence means two things coinciding.
So really it is a coincidence. Right. Um, but you know, it’s not like an accident. That’s probably a better way to say it. Um, but even if it was an accident, Your now to your point earlier about the person who says girls, don’t like me, you are now thinking so much about what you want in your life, that you see evidence that what you want in your life is coming.
You, you, you recognize opportunities when you wouldn’t, you might not have been before. Um, yeah. Which is pretty awesome. I would say it’s like someone who, um, is an antique collector or someone who collects a certain type of toys, right? Like certain antique toys or something like that, or whatever. Um, you know, they’re the ones who are, because they’re thinking about that all the time and that’s their life.
And that’s what they focus on. They not only they’d done the, the, the background to have the information, but like there’ll be at a store and see something that a thousand other people would walk right by and just see no value in. My mom does that. My mom is a Nancy. Like she collects and takes this stuff and we’ll go to a yard sale or something and she’ll pick something out and be like, Oh, that’s worth a couple hundred dollars.
Every time I walked past and I thought it was a piece of junk. That’s incredible. Yeah, totally. But that happens in life all the time with opportunities and experiences, there’s stuff all around. Exactly, exactly what it is. If you spend. So shear moms spend your time knowing about antiques as, as example.
So other people spend their time knowing about success and joy and love and laughter and connection and empowerment. Um, then that’s what they’re going to see more often and they’ll see it when other people don’t. Okay, so chapter two is present, right? So if you’re here right now, you’re not worried about the past.
You’re not worried about the future. You’re just here for the moment of life. Like what? And so then we’ll take it back to the prologue. So what would it be like to create a person who is present? How would the person who is present, behave? If you find yourself worried about what someone else, somewhere else thinks or something I might’ve said two weeks ago, an email I might’ve sent or what, or maybe that this isn’t going to happen in time in the future of any of the stuff is not.
It’s giving you stress or anxiety, right? And your body is physically telling you I don’t like this. Right. Um, we feel like life is happening to us. Instead. We recognize that life is happening for us. And we can be right here right now to appreciate the moment. And again, that takes practice as well, but once you start to do it more often, man, those moments become so beautiful.
So powerfully wonderful. Uh, it sounds like even hearing myself say it, I feel like, Oh, like I might have heard people say that before in the past and not necessarily, but it was strange to, to, I had a very big awakening last year of like, I felt like I, you know, I’ve been practicing meditation for a long time, but like I was, um, very much like, I don’t know.
Um, Not open, I guess I wasn’t really, really, I felt like I thought I was open, but I really wasn’t. And then, you know, I just had this series of experiences of being like profoundly present and, and the universe is laying things out for me in, in very like, kind of funny, humorous ways. Like these coincidences that would happen, that just kept happening at such a frequency that it was like, there is, it can’t be a coincidence that this is a coincidence.
And even if it is. That’s amazing. That’s incredible. I love this. Yeah. Like this is, this is amazing. And, and it starts to make you realize like, wow, everything is amazing. Like, and I would hear people say that and think, wow, that’s dumb. We were like, so this and this and this and this and this. And then like, you know, like I obviously people have had it way worse than me.
I’ve had it way worse than a lot of people though, also. And if everybody’s unique here and go ahead. Absolutely. And you know, I literally six years ago was sleeping on a, on pavement in Pittsburgh, staring at my change in front of me on, on the, on the pavement, not able to move cause I was so drunk and like that was my life at one point.
And I’ve had all kinds of ups and downs since then, but like being able to say like, Everything. Just the fact that I have sitting in a room right now talking to, first of all, this is incredible. Being able to talk to people over the internet. Like there’s so many things to be grateful for that it’s just insane.
The fact that the universe even came together to create these breathing and conscious beings that we are like, that’s incredible. Like there’s just so much to be grateful for. And if you choose, so say what if, what would it be like if I was someone that’s grateful for this kind of thing, Totally. It’s so crazy how great gratitude and that starts to create joy.
Totally. Yeah. In fact, if once you’re present, then your patient, all of a sudden, often joy will sneak in right behind it. That’s actually a thing. So there’s a line from the book and there there’s something like that, but yeah. So then chapter three is be joyful. Right. So if you’re here now, you’re not worried about the past anymore.
You’re not worried about the future anymore. It’s okay. And again, I don’t say it’s okay. Who might a judge, what anybody does, right. But I’m just saying it’s from my experience and the presentation of this book would be that it’s okay to think about the future and really to plan it with what you want it to be.
It’s just not to worry about the future. Doesn’t serve you. But in any case, if you’re here now, you’re not worried about the past or the future you’re enjoying. How would you rather be feeling joy is, is a great place to start, right? I mean, would it be like to create joy just for life itself? Um, and that’s another thing that I’ve been.
So again, a lot of stuff I’ve just been doing with dr. Joe is sitting in. If you hear people just be happy for life itself, like, it seems, sounds almost cliche. Like this weird thing that I didn’t think I could actually get to write. I really didn’t. I’m like, okay. In fact, I think it’s, it’s a hard thing.
Sometimes you explain, he’s like once you get there to be like, wait a second, how did I, like if I heard someone say that a year ago, or three years ago, 10 years ago, whatever. I would’ve thought they were crazy. I would have thought like, Oh, good for you for thinking of that. Like, you know, you don’t really see what life’s really all about.
Like that’s what I used to think. Um, and then once you’re there, you’re like, how could anyone not see how amazing this is? But also then it’s trying to bridge that gap of connecting with people that maybe are not seeing life that way. I think, you know, a valuable to think about, of how do we bridge that, you know, the most fun parts of my personal kind of spiritual awakening and journey has been.
That again, like, I always feel like I’m at a point where I’m, this sounds ridiculous, but I’m reached the peak or whatever. I just got a level, like I got it now. I got it all figured out. Right. And then I level up at some point just by experiencing life and kind of going through whatever. But when that happens, like, I’m always like, like you hear it, like to your point, you’ll hear an expert out there or a guru or just somebody who’s just had a lot of life experience in this area to speak about different levels of, of, you know, the now or just being grateful for life and these different things.
And you feel like you get it, like, Oh yeah, I get that like affirmations. Yeah. And then all of a sudden you get like, Oh, this is what he was talking about. Oh, sorry. I heard that like seven years ago. And I still like really not until now, did I really realize what I just haven’t happened recently with non-duality someone discussing, you know, that the idea of separation is, is an illusion, right?
That we live in this dream of like separation and all of this stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, that sounds like nonsense to me, or I don’t understand it. I would like have this visceral reaction. I’m like, that’s not true because of these reasons. And then through just like a series of experiences and just greater understanding, realizing, and like how that is true.
Maybe I don’t agree with the way they explained it or something, but like, that’s fine. And it’s just like, Oh, and then, and then you’re like, yeah, this is a really profound level of understanding. I can’t believe I went my whole life without getting this. Yeah. And then the more, like, sometimes it’s funny.
So this past weekend, my brother was over and we were sitting on my deck and my wife was there. The three of us were just kind of hanging out relaxing. And I just, every once in a while, just be like, Man. I just love whatever. I just love my deck, man. I just love fit. I’m a big fan of the band fish were listening to this to some fish.
I said, man, I just love fish. Like, and like, so throw it in. My brother was there for a couple of days. And so throughout the weekend, every once in a while I would just literally be seen. And I’d just be like, man, as soon as I said that, like they were like, Oh here, what do you love now? I was like, I don’t know, man.
Like, what’s not to love, like, you know, it’s this funny place once you feel, once you, once you really, what it comes down to this, not even just sound hippy dippy, they like once you practice creating love intentionally in your heart. Like, that’s the practice that I’ve been working on really hardcore this year.
And once you practice that, so often your body starts to actually do it on its own for no reason, except for that you exist. Like it’s like this weird, it’s like the actually happened on its own and then feeling it and feeling that joy and love for life almost like you didn’t create it. Um, you know, that’s like, I think that’s where the magic happens and that’s when you start to say, Oh, like, okay, this is just.
Like, this is an option. Like this is not that there’s an option just to love life for, for, for the existence, for life itself. And once you start to do that, you start to appreciate other people’s lives and other people’s experiences on a whole different level. And you have two levels of empathy and understanding to where you can.
It doesn’t matter how they’re behaving because whoever they are is exactly who they should be based on every single second of life. They lived up until this moment. And my responsibility is to be the light that I want to see in the room in that moment and see how it is reflected. It’s so it’s so contagious.
You know, I talk about that a lot about how, how, you know, be the light you see in the world. People say that a lot and that’s such an important concept. I think that it, and it gets lost it’s for a lot of people in the kind of like, you know, blueness of that phrase. Right. But in a very practical way, if I go about my life, uh, expressing joy and love and gratitude and empathy for people that.
Affects the people and interactions that I have. And in turn, like where did I got that idea? And those experiences from someone else that was having those ideas and experiences and sharing them and being brave and outward with those experiences, but force you to get to a certain point. It’s like impossible to contain yourself.
Right. But at the scene, the truth. It’s the truth. Yeah. And then you have the other side of things where, you know, you have negativity and pessimism and hatred and exclusion and all of these things. Those things are also contagious for the people that there’s like. Most people live somewhere in the middle of those two things.
Everyone exists somewhere on that spectrum. And it’s kind of a weight that you, it’s an energy and a wave form in and of itself, but like that light or that darkness that exists in each of us. And it’s really which one we decide to feed with all of them, of our intentions. Our thoughts are all of this different stuff.
And then the experiences that we have are reflected in all of the people around us. In a very practical way. Like you don’t have to get into quantum physics even, and, or the spirituality of it, like exactly. Like you can see how that practically is true. Um, which is exciting because once you start to realize that it’s like, Oh, there is inherent value in working on yourself.
I can get something out of this in the grand scheme of things, whatever I want to bring about in my life, whether I’m spiritual or not. If I focus on that, Right then that’s what I’ll get. Yeah, absolutely. Now you’re throwing some spirituality, some gratitude in the meantime, and it can’t hurt. Right. Then you’re going to get that too.
Right. Because it seems inevitable that that’s going to seep in, in some way, just because you start to realize how much you don’t know and how much of your, what you thought was reality is just so wrong that it’s like, okay, well, all of this other stuff that I just wrote off. Maybe I shouldn’t just write it off.
Yeah. Maybe there’s an opportunity for growth. I’m working on actually I’m working. I say that, but my mind, the concept with my next book, uh, that I have the title and the concept and that’s it. So, so the title is mind the GAC and the GAC, which has capitalized GAC, CC stands for great in constant conversation with the universe.
So for me, like, you know, the expression, mind the gap, which is on the, in Europe at all. Yeah. Right. So this is mine, the GAC. And so the GAC is this concept that we are when we speak, when we talk, when we think, and life responds to us, like it is not just to be a response. It is also for me then to respond with gratitude.
And the more I start thinking about something, when I see that it is showing up for me physically in physical form, in life for me, then to recognize it as a form of conversation from life, from the universe. And now I create gratitude for it. I am then expressing I’m recording. So the conversation right, that, that the universe has created by putting out this energy of gratitude, and then it’s going to, then it says, Oh, you like that?
Okay. I heard what you said. Let me give you more things to be grateful for. And then you start to create graduate and it is this back and forth. It is like acknowledging, even if it’s just acknowledging your favorite number, when you see it or acknowledging different things that you pop up, whatever, for me, that’s the gap.
Like I always say I just had a really gagging moment right now, so that doesn’t just happen, but it is that concept. Yeah. Creating and receiving. I think that, you know, um, when you are writing that book, let me know because, uh, we’ll stay in touch and I’m, I would be excited to read that, to say the least we’ve just, you know, talked about so many exciting things.
And like you said, you know, we’re. Having this literally like voicing this and putting this out into the universe and our own experiences and the great thing about creating podcast or whatever is that this content then reaches other people. Even if it reaches a hundred people, that’s, uh, you know, that is being the light you want to see in the world.
And who knows who those hundred people are going to talk to based on this. And that’s where they’re going to get more information or whatever. And to be honest with you, it’s like now, like this, this podcast can be heard for thousands of years. Whatever. I’m just saying, you know, literally in the grand scheme of things, if we think beyond ourself, we think whatever, when historic people right now, people look at the Aztecs, what were they writing?
What were they saying? What were they doing? Whatever it’s like, listen, okay, we’ve got this digital content from these people back in 2020, when this pandemic was going on, what the heck were they talking to the books too? Like writing a book? I think that even probably has a longer longevity than most other, especially when you have a physically printed, who knows like, when someone, when you’re an old grandpa and you die and like your grandkids, you’re going through your stuff.
They’re going to find that book. I have a journal from my great aunt’s son. You know, that’s a physical thing. Like if it’s incredible that, you know, something like that and who knows, maybe it will go to a dump and no one will ever see it. But you know, like to your point of communicating that the universe, that was part, part of my writing this book, like a man I’m just not a regular author.
I haven’t like dreamed of being an author my whole life. It wasn’t like this. Like I said, I don’t even like to read a ton of books. Right. But it was just something I was like, okay. So I’ve got a nine year old and a six year old. And I was like, okay, so this is something that I can also leave them and they can have whenever they want to.
And maybe their kids can have, and maybe people long after I’m gone will find it the right. You know, I believe we talk about not caring, what other people think and being your true self and uncovering, you know, the, the being that is within us and allowing it to, to really express itself as often as possible.
I think you’re, we will attract others that are looking for that or need that, or as part of their, their vibe. Right. And so this book, I know for a fact, it’s for whoever it’s for. And so just knowing that it’ll find the right people when it’s supposed to, and how it’s supposed to in itself is like, you know, my work is done here.
I’m the co-creator, I’m the, and that’s the whole concept of life. Like we are the co-creators we create what we want. If we, if we intentionally think about it and then allow this, you know, the, the, the higher intelligence to do the rest. But if we add gratitude and love and compassion for what we’re doing and for others, um, it’s, I dunno, it’s a win, win.
I think it amplifies it, but I mean, even if it doesn’t like whatever, that’s the experiences that I want to continue to have. So thank you so much, Ryan. If someone. On that note is interested in picking up your book. Um, we’re learning more about you, where can they do it?
Ryan Stanley: Yeah. So first of all, I mean, book is everywhere.
They sell books, as they always say, you can find them on Amazon, you can find a Barnes and noble.com, whatever you can find it anywhere like that. It’s also for sale on my website. My website is Ryan stanley.com. That’s all right there. If you’re watching the video, if you’re not, then I just pointed he has his website and Ryan it’s dot com.
And, uh, so you can buy a book from there. If you do, it’ll come from me, it’ll come signed. Uh, so that’s a. Depending on my availability, which is starting to get less and less, but it might come with a complimentary session as well. But then also listen, man. I mean, I understand that COVID has been crazy.
It’s been a weird year for a lot of people and not everybody has extra cash that they feel like spending on books. Um, so if you want to, right now, especially during Cova, you can get the book for free and like a PDF format. And so you just go to Ryan steeling.com/free-ebook. And then you just download the PDF and you can, I mean, obviously if you have the cash, I, I really prefer that physical copy of something small.
You can carry with you. You can take notes in it, that type of thing. It’s quick and easy. It’s a little more fun than, than, than a big PDF to print out and carry around. Um, but I guess you could look at that on your Kindle, but yeah, so Ryan’s sterling.com is just placed and you can find all my social spaces.
Great. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I think we had such an amazing conversation here. Again, like I said, at the beginning of this conversation, I feel like we could talk for hours, but people have to go on with their lives and go build the lives that they want to build. So thank you so much.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I really enjoyed the conversation as well. Thanks for sharing some time and space with me.
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