How do we have successful relationships? Roman Mironov shares his insights as a relationship coach on this episode of the Happy You Are Here Podcast.
Roman helps clients keep and find love in their life, bring passion and joy into their relationships agin, save their relationships from falling apart, and recover from a breakup to move on better than before.
Roman’s website: https://romanmironov.com/
Transcription
How to Give and Recieve Unconditional Love with Roman Mironov
Craig Inzana: [00:00:00] Hello, welcome to the happier here, podcasts and this show. We talk about tools, techniques, and ideas to help us live more fulfilling lives. In this episode, we have coach Roland Mironov, who is a relationship coach. Who’s been trained in the, uh, Tony Robbins training group and has done a lot of really interesting stuff that I will let him introduce himself.
And then we’ll get a little more into
Roman Mironov: [00:00:25] discussion. Yeah. Yes. Hi, thank you so much for having me. That’s right. I am a relationship coach. I do all kinds of coaching. Well, many kinds of coaching, but I do prefer to focus on relationships because I believe this is where most of my training and my expertise lies.
And I, yes. As you mentioned, I did my training with. Robbins Madonna’s group and yeah, this is an official program of Tony
Craig Inzana: [00:00:53] Robbins. So when you say relationships, you’re talking about mostly romantic relationships, assuming from the content that you’ve produced.
Roman Mironov: [00:01:00] Exactly. Exactly. But the point is people might come to me with an issue in their personal relationship like infidelity, but then as we delve into coaching, we dig, we dig out.
More things that I can help them with, including business relationships or relationships for their kids, relationships for their friends. So you might say that life is. It’s all about relationships, like just, just different.
Craig Inzana: [00:01:27] Yeah. So I think that, um, you’re right at every city, everything’s about relationships.
I actually have interviewed some other coaches where, you know, maybe let’s say they’re an executive coach and people will come because they have an issue in their business. And then usually that turns into, well, there’s all of these other things that usually it’s like you as a person. There’s something causing some kind of, um, you know, blockage or issue or something that’s like recurring in your life and then being able to address that.
It makes your relationship with all other people, with your relationship, with your business, better your relationship with your spouse, all of those things. So it’s kind of like, you know, anybody that’s a coach ends up treating the whole person.
Roman Mironov: [00:02:03] Absolutely. And may be the most important relationship is the one that we have with ourselves.
Right. So when we heal that relationship, Everything else oftentimes falls into place, like you said.
Craig Inzana: [00:02:17] Yeah, absolutely. I’ve, I’ve experienced that in my own life. I’m sure a lot of people have, or if you haven’t, hopefully you get a chance to where, you know, you work on something in your own life and you develop more self love, self compassion.
And through that, then you’re able to express more love and compassion to other people. You’re able to express those same things, because really at the end of the day, the. Well, the difference between you and I is, is relatively arbitrary. It’s like looking in the mirror when we look at other human beings.
So if we can’t love ourselves and how can we love another human being,
Roman Mironov: [00:02:44] right? Right. Or work life balance. You want to be, to be able to, you know, rest, not just work, right. Not allow yourself not to be productive all the time and give you, give yourself the space of, you know, taking rest. Which is also a form of self-love.
Craig Inzana: [00:03:03] Yeah, absolutely. That’s an interesting way to think about it. The, I mean, I’m obviously all about that, but I never really conceptualized it as rest and uniform of self love. I like that. How did you get into this type of coaching? Was there a personal story that, that led you there?
Roman Mironov: [00:03:19] Yes, there was back in 2014, I went through a painful divorce and.
At that point, I was very, very bad with women. I did not, even though I had spent 11 years with my ex wife, I was pretty much clueless because she sort of had fallen into my lap. I, I did have to work to get her and. So I basically ruined the relationship, ruined my marriage because I did not have to be a masculine man and trip.
My wife has a feminine woman, so I screwed it up completely. And after going through that divorce, I realized that I need to put myself out there and go get, get back to the dating world. And I realized that I. I had no idea how to do it. So I started to learn whatever I could, then what I did. I went out and I actually practiced everything that I learned about dating and relationships.
So I sort of made myself a Guinea pig after having this two experiences. So one thing that I realized is that I, I can actually help people go through this sort of problems. Resolve them or just, you know, soothe their problems, help them heal them because I could relate to what they were going through.
And I also had this oldest information, which I made, which I experienced myself. So again, I could give very practical tips to people. That’s why, like, these are. The personal reasons that I use to, to motivate myself, to get into code.
Craig Inzana: [00:05:14] I think that’s, uh, you know, unfortunate, obvious that you had to go through that too, to learn that.
But I think that that’s what life is about. I mean, it sends us, we, it sends us opportunities to learn a lesson and if we don’t learn the lesson, then it just makes it the lesson harder and harder and more obvious and more obvious. And so we’re forced to learn it. Um, You know, I had a similar experience with, um, addiction and suffering, just deep depression.
And that’s kind of what inspired me to start the show and starting to start helping other people. Because once I, I was able to climb out of it and build those tools. It was like, well, I want to tell everyone about this. Now, anyone else’s suffering could use these same things. And, you know, I just didn’t know about it when I was younger.
So making people aware of that and, and, and being able to give back the things that you’ve learned, basically, every coach or. Therapists that I’ve ever talked to. That’s how they’ve reached it. You know, they were suffering, they were struggling in some way. And the, the, the path that they took to get out, once you’re in this better place, then it’s kind of the opportunity to serve and to help others with what you’ve learned.
Roman Mironov: [00:06:16] That’s true. And I’ve just remembered an episode from a novel that I read, um, maybe a month ago. By Stephen King and the novel is called insomnia. And there is this woman who gets bitten by her husband and she she’s at a hospital. And then another woman an enters her room. And the first thing she does, she was her skirt up and shows like a very, very big scar.
And she says, okay, this car has been given to me by my ex husband. And by showing the scar, she was a counselor as it turned out later. And by starting with that, by showing the scar and being very relatable, she made this woman, the woman who was in the room that will, who has been bitten by her husband.
She made her relate to herself and open up. That’s how it works.
Craig Inzana: [00:07:18] I think that, um, I would love to get instant, general viewpoints that you have about relationships. Maybe some insight that you might’ve learned over this time that you’ve been coaching and from your own experience, I kind of relate to that where I, I did not understand.
I had no real concept of like how to work with women, how to, how to respect a woman, how to be in a healthy relationship. I didn’t date at all until I was like 19 years old. And then it took me another four or five years before I had a healthy relationship. And I can. Say now I have one six year very healthy relationship.
It didn’t work out as a like longterm thing, but I’m still very good friends with this woman. And I think that, you know, it wasn’t opportunity to learn and we both grew a lot and it was healthy. Yeah. And ended in a relatively healthy way. And now I found another partner I’m even more deeply in love with.
And our relationship is flourishing and, and using all of those lessons learned from previous relationships. But, um, I came from. Not being able to talk to a woman at all and not being able to really understand their perspective and not really understanding what it meant to be a man. I found into a lot of the kind of, you know, well, you have to be me and you have to be a jerk.
You have to like do all of these things. If you want women to respect you and like, uh, which is kind of just nonsense, you have to have self respect, but you don’t have to put other people down to do that. So I would love to just have some, like, what are some of the big things that you see a lot of men.
Uh, or women, uh, seem to not realize yet until they maybe go through coaching or go through something that forces them to learn that that maybe we could save them a little bit of that.
Roman Mironov: [00:08:48] The biggest thing is definitely unconditional love. When you go into a relationship, you need to go there with the intention to give love, to meet your partner’s needs and not to get your needs met.
That’s the main point. Because if you look at your relationship as something that you would extract value from, it’s not going to work. You need to go there and give it’s like, you know, an application of this universal principle get give to get, right. You want to be, you want to be giving you one to ask your partner about their needs and make sure that you meet those needs on a regular basis.
And you don’t expect anything in return. That’s the whole point there’s there should be no like trading or bargain. No, you go there to give. And what happens then as the most important thing is that when you give love. You actually feel it in yourself. You feel it inside. That’s how you feel. Love. You.
Don’t feel love truly when you receive it. It’s good. It’s good. When your partner loves you while you back, or just like enjoyable things for you, that’s good. But this is sort of selfish love when you give love. This is selfless love and it’s the most rewarding. It’s the best feeling. The second thing that happens is that your partner becomes happy.
And in that hap estate, they’re more open to actually reciprocating. They’re more open to give back to you. They see that their needs have been met in a very kind and very loving way. And that’s. Totally normal and expected for that other person to reciprocate and love you back. This, this is the main dynamic of relationships, and unfortunately many people they see in the wrong way.
They think that they need the relationship to fix their problems or meet their needs or to stop feeling lonely. No, that’s not how it works.
Craig Inzana: [00:11:14] Key thing that I have learned that made me better in relationships was getting okay, first with being alone, like we said, loving yourself and like, really like, not feeling like you need this other person to feel full because then it’s just, you’re sharing that full feeling with someone else and then hopefully they can reciprocate.
And that’s a beautiful thing when that happens, but it doesn’t. And you’re not like desperate. You’re not clean at that point. So this like thing, you’re not like I need you to stay with me because if you don’t, I’ll be lonely. And I don’t know how to handle that. Cause most of us are not raised to learn how to handle that.
And that’s, I think a big problem in a lot of relationships is there’s that clinging and that fear of loss that drives everything
Roman Mironov: [00:11:54] true. True neediness is actually one of the worst things that happens to love because when you’re needy, You make the other person feel that they are like expected. They have to love you.
Right? Cause you’re, you’re, you’re like putting a responsibility to love them, plop yourself on them. And this is so detrimental to love because love is free flowing. It’s not supposed to, uh, do you have a, any like this sort of, you know, imposed restrictions? It should be. The other person should give love to you as they want without you extracting love out of them, trying to do that.
And that’s why, like you imagine detachment. Being self-sufficient being happy with yourself is so, so, so attractive. Both for men and for women,
Craig Inzana: [00:12:54] you mentioned, um, you know, talking to your partner often and asking them what their needs are. I had a, someone recommended me at one point, um, that you. Pick a time too.
Cause you kind of assume that you’re going to do that. Right. You’re going to assume like, well, if they need something, they’ll tell me. Right. Like having, creating a practice of like maybe sitting down every week and just basically, you know, how can I be of service to this relationship? Or maybe not every week, whatever, even every day, like in the morning or something.
I don’t know. Like, is there something that along that lines that you’ve found can help people if maybe they’re struggling to be, to create that space, to have that conversation?
Roman Mironov: [00:13:32] Yes. This is a very great tip. And I think I, I would, I would recommend two things like along the same lines, the first one is to actually have a long conversation each day.
So with your partner for at least one hour and yeah, take that hour as an opportunity to ask them about their needs and how you are meeting them and how you can meet them better. That’s one thing, the second thing, speaking about making. Point pants once a week. This is something that I like. I call it an executive meeting.
The point of this meeting is that you are not allowed to criticize your partner during the week. You’ll withhold little criticism. You write everything down. Okay. So let’s say for on Monday, you want to, you want to, like, you got triggered anyone to criticize that. But you can do that on Monday. You postpone it until let’s say Sunday and on Sunday, what you two, do you get out?
Let’s say to a cafe, don’t do it at home. You sit down, you pull up here less of the criticism that he wrote down during the week, and then why don’t you start? And the other listens for the criticism without interruption for 30 minutes. And then he cha like, The other one starts. And the idea of this meeting is that, uh, first of all, by concentrating criticism in this one, like one hour spot on one day, you make it.
So you make it so much easier. It, it makes it easier for the other person to actual accept that criticism. And the second thing. It is after some time passes, you might feel that that thing that you wrote down, it’s not really valid. It’s not, it’s not that important. So you might just cross it out.
Craig Inzana: [00:15:36] Yeah. I find that a lot where, you know, in a moment that’s an interesting concept because in our relationship, there is a lot of stuff and you want to be able to communicate, you know, instead of holding it in, I have issue of like, I used to, and I still, you know, have trouble communicating my own needs.
Even if someone were to ask me, I’d be like, no, I’m fine. Everything’s fine. I’ll figure it out myself. Like, uh, like whatever you’ve done to me, like, I’ll just, you know, I’ll, I’ll figure out how to deal with it, which is obviously not an ideal situation either. And the reason I do that is because a lot of the time, you know, I’d have sent me right now, but within a day or two, I realized that I was just being triggered or whatever.
But, and then, yeah, that’s an opportunity to communicate like, Hey. There’s this thing that I’m working on, but just so you know, that this is a trigger that, you know, for this reason or that reason, or I don’t know that the reason is, but it just, you know, when you, when, when this thing happens to me, whatever, whether it’s you or someone else, like it triggers this emotion in me.
Uh, and as a partner, I want to know that about my partners. So I think that’s a really. It could be a really great practice for people to build into their relationships would be great to even have with, you know, very close friends that you have a relationship with often, you know, cause sometimes those can get heated when you’re not structured in the way that you’re sharing criticism with each other
Roman Mironovv: [00:16:54] constructive
Craig Inzana: [00:16:54] criticism.
Roman Mironov: [00:16:55] That’s true. That’s true. And you also mentioned that it might be difficult for you to talk about what you want. Right. And I think. Did this kind of, this kind of conversation, this kind of meeting that happens once a week could be just, just the, the right opportunity for you to, um, to make it like, sort of to objectify it.
You know, that like you have, you have a concern and you don’t want to voice it, but then you remember, okay, I can actually voice it during my meeting and this like, sort of stuff. Helps you actually to voice your concern because he know that there is this meeting coming up and
Craig Inzana: [00:17:43] yeah. Yeah. I think that a lot of it comes from, you know, my own personal experience.
It comes from being like, well, this is inner it’s, um, inconvenient to bring up right now. So it’s just, I just won’t. And then it just by event, there’s no space then ever to like, bring it up, uh, until like maybe boils over. So I love that. Um, That’s something that similar practices to that are things that I’ve heard other people talk about.
So it’s kind of like when you hear a bunch of different people that suggest the same thing that work in the same space, it’s probably a good idea.
Roman Mironov: [00:18:14] Yeah. Yeah. It’s it’s time to actual applied the universe is telling you to do that. Right?
Craig Inzana: [00:18:21] Right. Absolutely. So what about if people, like a lot of the stuff that I’ve seen, that’s your content?
Um, and the stuff that we’ve talked about here already is, you know, how to. Um, you know, give fully into your relationship and, and grow the relationship that you ran. Is there times when you see people that you’re just like, these people just are not a good match for each other. Is that a thing that happens?
And how do you know if you’re in one of those relationships that maybe you’d be better off as friends?
Roman Mironov: [00:18:52] Hmm. That’s a good one. That’s a good one. Um, first of all, as a coach, I it’s, it’s not my job to fix people or fix the relationships. My, my goal is to actually help them meet their goal. So I dig deeply and to find out what their goal is, and then I help them with that goal.
So for example, right now I have this woman she’s 33 lives in Russia, which I am originally from. And, uh, she, she has been dating a guy. Four for three years and their relationship is going nowhere because that guy, he might, um, he, he might be, well, let’s say they have a date. And then he disappears for a couple of months.
Then he comes, comes through, it comes back to him, her. So it’s where to ensure she doesn’t feel safe in their relationship. She doesn’t trust him. Of course. And she also has a lot of, a lot of requirements. That she wants him to meet. So like my personal opinion, that in this case, it’s very difficult for, for them to be in their relationship because it seems like they are resisting each other.
But as a coach, I see that this woman, she doesn’t have any other like options while her table. So. W we talked with her and decided that it would be a good idea to give him another yeah. Chance to create a list of like real written requirements. Give, give him that list. So that he makes up his mind and decides whether he actually wants to meet those requirements if he wants to be in a relationship with her in a normal relationship.
Craig Inzana: [00:20:39] Yeah. I mean, sometimes it can be just as it, you know, it can be clearly stating those requirements. I think that that’s part of what happened in my previous relationship was we kind of had some core value differences that we kind of just kept skirting around and then. So many years into it, it’s like, okay, well, these are like very important.
Like, you know, whether we want kids or not, like, that’s a very important decision that, uh, if you don’t address, eventually that’s going to cause resentment on one side or the other. Um, so, you know, yeah. I think that, you know, I think it is appropriate that you’re not sitting there going, you guys shouldn’t be together, but yeah, I think it’s interesting to just think about in terms of relationships that sometimes, um, and that doesn’t mean that you have to like completely.
Like remove someone from your life, at least in my opinion, like you can still be friends with people that you have dated. Maybe you definitely, I think need some space to separate those emotions, but, um, those friendships can be really wonderful friendships. If you can find space for that and find a good boundaries.
Roman Mironov: [00:21:42] Absolutely. That’s why I really want to acknowledge you for, you know, having that friendship with your ex girlfriend. That was beautiful.
Craig Inzana: [00:21:51] Yeah. It is a beautiful thing. It’s, uh, I’m friends with in one way, like in a small amount with all of my, um, previous relationships with, you know, her and I were just, you know, you’re best friends for this period of time.
So to be able to, I don’t understand why you would want to, you know, just get rid of that. It’s obviously difficult the emotions at first. We had to take like six months where we thought that we could be friends. And then we took some time apart. We were just like, let’s just go our separate ways and like, acknowledge that we moved to different parts of the country.
So that made it a lot easier. She started dating someone else. I started dating someone else. So now it’s like, Oh, okay. Yeah. Now we’re friends again. And there’s really no additional tension there. Or like, It’s it’s really a wonderful thing. I wish, I hope that, you know, people that have good relationships that maybe aren’t working out, um, can find a way to transition to that.
Cause that can be, you know, maybe you met this person and they were meant to be like your lifelong best friend and you accidentally thought they were supposed to be a romantic partner.
Roman Mironov: [00:22:48] Oh yeah. That’s that’s a great example, please, please guys. Take it in this. This is so, so important yet. You need to take time after your relationship.
After you break up, take some time to grieve, take some time to be apart from each other, but then it’s a very, very good idea to continue with, to continue their relationship as friendship, because yeah, it can be very rewarding. At least try that’s the trait I have. I have a great relationship with my ex wife.
We talk each week. And like I asked her a lot of questions. I opened her up and I make sure to help her upbringing. Our son who leaves with her, that relationship is very important to me. I make it my job to actually be improving it all the time and be contributing to my ex wife and. Helping her as much as possible.
Craig Inzana: [00:23:46] That’s wonderful. Especially when there’s kids involved, like that’s
Roman Mironov: [00:23:49] back to one of your, your original questions you asked me about like the G the general things that help help relationships and, or actually are detrimental to relationships. There are, there are quite a few other things. And I think since we, we spoke a lot about communication.
When it comes to communication, it’s very, very important not to give your partner the silent treatment. And when they do something and you get a resentful and it’s very, very easy for you to go into that silent treatment mode when, where you want to, you’re actually using silence, punish them, but then they get, they also, they don’t understand what’s happening.
They don’t understand. They don’t like your reaction and they. Get resentful as well. And then you get even more resentful. So it’s like a vicious cycle and it never adds any. No, the next thing you know, you’re just not, you don’t talk to each other. Are there anymore? You talk only about things like getting groceries or taking care of your kids, taking them to school and.
There is no communication at all. So this communication is key and the silent treatment is the opposite and it’s very detrimental to the relationship.
Craig Inzana: [00:25:08] I think that’s important to note too, that, you know, just, you can acknowledge that communication is important. And, and I think that early. On if you’re having troubles in a relationship like, uh, committing to getting better at communication is an important first step, because you’re not going to just magically like flip a switch and be great at communicating with each other.
It takes time, it takes learning these different, uh, you know, boxes or that that communication can live within and where it’s healthy and maybe forms of communication that aren’t healthy, which is where like a coach, like you can, can really help, uh, speed up that process. Cause otherwise it’s a really painful learning process.
Roman Mironov: [00:25:42] Yeah. And in addition to that, I would say. I would say that every it’s it’s not is, it’s not just with communication as a general process, but it’s also with each particular conversation, oftentimes you would find that your partner is not responsive. Like you ask them questions and they give you like one, like monosyllabic counselors.
He asked her now and you need to open them up. You need to ask quality questions and maybe 10 or 15 minutes into the conversation. You’ll realize that. Yeah. Now they’re opening up. Now I can see what’s on their mind. And this is actually very important. And this dynamic is critical when it comes to two men asking women a lot of questions in this situation because yeah, oftentimes women test their man.
Bye. Like sort of shutting down because they have Southlake on their mind and they, they would not Sade right away. So what do you, what he should do in this situation as a man, you said the timer for three hours, and then you keep digging. You keep asking, you keep opening up your woman until she tells you what’s on her mind because she expects you to be straight, strong, and break through her barriers.
So keep asking, honey. What is it, honey? What is it, honey? I love you so much. I want to understand what’s on your mind. So please tell me what is it. I’m not, I’m not going to be resentful about it. I just want to hear you out and maybe help you if you need my help.
Craig Inzana: [00:27:28] I think it’s important to note that you probably don’t want to be aggressive about it.
Uh, I feel like some people could take that and be like, Tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what’s wrong. What’s wrong for like an hour, three hours, but it’s, you know, compassionate. It’s, it’s really like getting in that room and actually being present with the other person and showing them that you’re there.
So I think, especially for, I don’t think it’s necessarily just for women, but maybe it’s more likely that that’d be the case for men. Like they need to see another, another person needs to see that you were actually there with them and that you care. And like you said, it’s kind of a, whether it’s conscious or not, it’s testing, you know, to see like, Can I trust you with this information?
You know, are you going to flip out, are you gonna like, uh, take it badly? Are you going to care enough to actually receive this information? Cause it’s clearly something that’s important. You know, I like that idea of setting a timer. Cause it kinda gives you like a, did I spend enough time on this? I spent five minutes.
Roman Mironov: [00:28:19] Yes. And speaking of presence, it is, it is also critical. You don’t want to go into any conversation or communication with a partner and be distracted by other things. For example, I have a client he’s a 44 year old guy from, from Israel. And for example, he, he actually hates when, like he and his wife are together and she pulls up the phone like, shoot, He hates that and he wants his wife to be 100% present.
And usually this is exactly what your partner wants. So give them the gift of your attention. 100% attention and yeah. You’ll make
Craig Inzana: [00:29:05] them. Yeah, that was definitely a thing in, in a previous relationship of mine where I felt like every time I was trying to have a serious conversation and express something that, you know, I wanted to kind of have a meeting of the minds on or meeting of the hearts.
She would be on her phone, like, and that’s just like, I, and she couldn’t understand why that was upsetting me at first. Eventually she did, but it was just like, I don’t understand how you could not think that, like, I’m trying to have this very serious, like one on one conversation. And you’re like scrolling through Facebook, which I understand is like an addiction.
Like there’s something. Really going on. That’s a totally separate topic with, with these phones and stuff, but making that commitment to put your phone. I love just like putting my phone out of my pocket, like by the door, when I come into my apartment so that when I’m in my space, I can go over and like, look at my phone if I need to look something up or something.
But like, I try to leave it in that one space so that this space is for relating to my partner, my jog, my friends that are over, like whoever it is. It’s like, you know, trying to. Forced yourself because these phones are designed to pull you out of that. They’re designed to constantly grab your attention away from whatever’s going on in the real world, in front of you.
Roman Mironov: [00:30:14] Yes. Yes. Beautiful. That’s a very great tip. Like separating the spaces like this is my relationship space. This is my phone space. That’s good. And the other thing that you’re doing very well is that you actually, when you leave the phone. Like in, in a place that is not exactly accessible. You just forget about it.
He doesn’t eat, it doesn’t trigger the addiction. Right. You just don’t remember about it. It’s like with food when you, when you want to stop eating junk food. Yeah. First step is to get it outside of your house. Get rid of it because when you don’t have any junk food, it doesn’t yeah. Trigger you. It doesn’t doesn’t bother you.
And so will your cravings. Are not that strong anymore.
Craig Inzana: [00:30:55] Yeah. I think it’s the same, you know, like I come from a background of addiction and working with people in addiction and, you know, it can be as extreme as like alcohol or drugs or something, uh, where maybe ideally, eventually you can be around it and not give into that craving.
But at first you really have to separate put physical space in between you and whatever that addiction isn’t. And I think that, you know, phones are 100%. I’m addictive and lots of studies out there that show that, uh, they’re designed to be so putting it in the same thing with junk food, whatever it is, like putting that physical space.
And I think that’s why when you separate from somebody it’s important to have that physical space for awhile is because you, you, you, you have chemical reactions that are happening in your brain that you can’t control. No matter how logical you are about it. And you have to break down that dependence on those chemical reactions.
Roman Mironov: [00:31:48] Absolutely. And in the, in the relationship community, this is called no-contact. So when you, when you break up, you stop all contexts with your ex, but a lot of people and you do this to actual help yourself heal, right. As you mentioned to stop the addiction. Stop rewire your brain. Not to think about that other person all the time, but unfortunately too many people, they actually get it backwards.
They believe that by going no contact, they will, this will help them actually get their ex back. But no, that’s not how it works,
Craig Inzana: [00:32:28] but that’s very much that idea of like a relationship is something that I get something that serves me, something that is like a reward for back. Like if I act good, then I’m rewarded with this relationship rather than looking at it as something that I get an opportunity to give to
Roman Mironov: [00:32:41] that’s.
Right. Yeah. Which takes us back to the, the unconditional love principle. Exactly. Maybe another thing that we should, you mentioned when it comes to having better relationships is making sure that you have daily intimacy moments. So, because, you know, with time, as our relationship goes up on where we might find that we don’t, I want to have that intimacy that we had in the beginning.
So it’s important to like, sort of create traditions for yourself when you. Take a specific time during the day to kiss your partner passionately or give them a hug, give them a smile. That’s important. Don’t forget about those daily intimacy.
Craig Inzana: [00:33:27] Yeah. And, and committing to, to being present in those, you know, again, they bring you back to that presence.
Like, you know, there’s one thing whenever you like kiss your partner and you’re walking out the door, but your mind somewhere else, like you can tell when you’re kissing someone and they are present or you’re hugging someone and their president, right. And that feels so good when you’re like there with somebody and there’s that like, that’s where that connection comes in.
You can do the physical act and not mentally be there. And your partner will be able to tell, um, and it’s, you’re not, you’re not going to receive the same results from that. Whether it’s your own, like how that feels for you and how the other person feels as well.
Roman Mironov: [00:34:01] Yeah. Yes. Yes, exactly. And now the tip that I could give is remembering to praise your partner.
Every day for every small thing that they do for their relationship, because otherwise it’s too easy to take them for granted. So instead look for things that they have done that day and praise them for that. Also make sure that you communicate your plans to them. Even when you like go outside, just tell them where you’re going.
And if you’re like, Planning to do some kind of project. Also tell them about the project. So be sure to communicate your plans to them because this is what makes the other person, I feel significant. And also in the same vein ask for their opinion about everything, because this will also build their self esteem.
This will also make them feel great. Cause they see that their opinion is right according to you. And. They like it.
Craig Inzana: [00:35:06] Yeah, absolutely. I love the concept of, I think it goes both ways. Like it’s kind of a little act of gratitude, right? When you’re being vocal about every little thing your partner does, not only does that feel good to your partner, I mean, think about it.
It would feel good if your partner was telling you all the time, like, Oh, I appreciate that you do this. I appreciate that you have this, I appreciate that you do this. So, you know, giving that to the other person is nice, but also that triggers something in yourself. That’s saying like, I am grateful for this thing.
I’m putting that out into the universe that like. You know, it’s that sense of gratitude. And then you feel this immense sense of gratitude for your partner. And then that just continues to, it’s really amazing when you can build such a, uh, immense bond with somebody in such a healthy way. I wish that everyone got to experience it.
I hope that everyone does it so point, but a key thing is, is, is, is learning how to. Feel love and experience love and give love without having that first. Um, I think that a lot of people are like, well, yeah, that sounds great, Craig, but I’m never going to have that. And it’s like, well, if you keep saying that, then of course, you’re not going to have it.
Cause you’re not giving yourself space to have that. You’re not giving yourself permission to be loved by yourself even. So of course, no one else is going to show you love because you’re not allowing
Roman Mironov: [00:36:20] them. Exactly, exactly. And remember that it’s a practice. The more, the more unconditional love you, you give some the more you’re able to actually feel it.
And the whole point of this, like the ultimate goal of unconditional love is I believe living a better life because you, you might begin with loving your spouse unconditionally or your partner, but then you actually realize that all life is about unconditional love. Yeah. See you, you can love your kids on conditional.
You can love your neighbors on unconditionally. You can love the whole world, unconditional, actual the entire universe. And when you do that, it actually feels every moment of your life with credited. And when you live, that, that does basically in life.
Craig Inzana: [00:37:12] Yeah, absolutely. That’s what we’re all about on this show.
So it’s all about. Expanding compassionate and, you know, having those experiences because it’s such a beautiful experience to free yourself. And to really I’ll be in touch with, you know, what I can set up realizes source, but other people, whatever conceptualization you have around it’s like that universal love.
Yeah. Understanding that all things are as they are. And. You can love them for that allows you to love yourself. And it’s just this light because you’re part of that whole thing. Uh, and yeah, it’s, uh, and also, it just makes you a better person when you’re able to, to come into any relationship, whether it’s a business relationship or it’s a traffic jam or whatever, with that, uh, that mental space it’s like life becomes just this wonderful ride of gratitude and joy.
Yes,
Roman Mironov: [00:37:56] exactly. You realize that you are not separate from other people. You’re your actual, not separate from nature. Like, you’re not, you’re, you’re a part of universe and unconditional love. There’s the tool too. Realize that, and be, be able to live in the present moment. 100%.
Craig Inzana: [00:38:17] I absolutely loved that. We got to that point, Roman.
Well, I am gonna wrap things up. I would like you to tell people where they could find maybe some of your YouTube videos. You got a, let a really good YouTube videos. Um, your blog, some of your coaching information. I’ll obviously put this stuff down in the show notes below, but uh, if you’re listening, go ahead and listen to what Roman has to say.
Roman Mironov: [00:38:41] Yeah. First of all, kind of words. So thank you. Thank you, Craig. Thank you. Please go to my website, the site, which is Roman mirror, knob.com, spelled as R O M a N M I R O N O V. Hit the contact tab and. Just sign up for free breakthrough session with me and we’ll go from there. It’s totally free. And on my website, of course, you have all the links to my social media and you do
Craig Inzana: [00:39:11] wonderful.
Thank you so much. I am happy. You’re here. I’m happy. You’re doing the work that you’re doing and. Spreading love in a, in a very real way.
Roman Mironov: [00:39:19] Thank you. It’s it has been a pleasure and I love the fact that we actually share, share quite a lot of things between us.
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